High standards, high curation, and a skincare routine that deserves its own zip code.
Let’s be honest: somewhere between the rise of "clean girl" minimalism and the cult of effortless cool, we lost a little something; namely, the right to be gloriously, unapologetically extra.
But here's the thing: behind every seemingly effortless woman is a very well-maintained one. And no, that doesn’t make her superficial or frivolous. It makes her self-aware.
We’ve been taught to underplay our preferences, to water down our desires in the name of humility or cool-girl chic. But the truth is, there’s nothing more powerful than a woman who knows exactly what she needs to thrive, whether that’s a $75 serum, weekly blowouts, or twelve hours of sleep in silk pajamas.
High-maintenance isn’t about being difficult. It’s about being devoted — to your skin, your peace, your wardrobe, your rituals, your boundaries. It’s a love language to self. And when done right, it’s aspirational as hell.
The Origins of the Myth
Culturally, we’ve long demonized the woman who wants more. Think of every rom-com villain painted as high-maintenance because she liked things just so. She wasn’t chill. She wasn’t low-key. She demanded. And demanding women? They were always the punchline.
But what if we flipped the script? What if being high-maintenance is just being highly curated? What if it’s not about maintenance at all, but elevation?
The Grown-Woman Version
Being high-maintenance in your 40s and 50s looks different than it did in your twenties. Now, it’s less about flash and more about function. It’s about building a lifestyle that serves you . Not just aesthetically, but emotionally.
It’s skincare that feels like a nightly reset. It’s refusing to wear shoes that pinch, even if they’re cute. It’s traveling with your own pillow spray because sleep is sacred.
It’s saying no faster. Saying yes slower. And showing up in life moisturized, moisturized, moisturized.
Rituals Worth Elevating
Let’s talk about the non-negotiables that make the high-maintenance woman’s world go round:
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Skincare Splurge: Augustinus Bader’s The Rich Cream — it’s not hype, it’s cellular rejuvenation in a bottle. Apply like prayer.
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Tailoring Therapy: Nothing says “I love me” like clothes that fit like they were made for your life. Get everything tailored — jeans, coats, even your favorite t-shirts.
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Sleep Chic: Elevate bedtime with Slip silk pillowcases, a weighted eye mask, and a no-phone policy after 9pm. Luxuriate in your own rest.
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Fragrance as Armor: Find your signature scent and wear it everywhere — even to the DMV. Maison Francis Kurkdjian Baccarat Rouge 540 is a classic for a reason, but Byredo’s Eyes Closed is a quietly powerful alt.
The Attitude Shift
Ultimately, being high-maintenance is just another way of taking yourself seriously. And that scares people who benefit from you being “easy.”
So yes, you have preferences. Yes, you have standards. No, you don’t do group trips with shared bathrooms. And no, you’re not available for brunch before 11.
Because at this stage in life, you don’t have to shrink to fit the room. You curate the room.
And if anyone dares to call you "a lot" with a smirk? Smile. Remind them: "A lot" built empires, balanced babies on hips, made Thanksgiving look effortless, and got herself here looking damn good.
Being high-maintenance isn’t a flaw. It’s an art form. And darling — you’ve mastered it.
xo,
Krystal Phillips